Last week a viral post came across my Facebook feed. It was a beautiful story about a young woman who told her Pastor she wanted to be buried with a fork in her right hand. She went on to explain to the confused pastor that her grandmother once told her a story that during dinners when the dishes from the main course were being cleared someone would lean over and say “keep your fork”. It was this young ladies’ favorite part because she knew something better was coming.

I read this story and knew I had to share it and reposted it on my feed. Little did I know that a few short days after that my family would be getting some awful news. My grandmother had passed away.

Losing part of our family

I come from a large family. My grandparents had 7 kids, each one of them had multiple kids. On holidays we were pretty good at cramming 50+ people into a very small house. We did family reunions with hundreds. I grew up with my family being my friends, memories of holidays together, Sunday evening dinners and so much more.

My family of 5 with my grandparents on Easter a few years ago

My Grandpa passed away almost 3 years ago. It was a blow to all of us. He was the rock in our family, the love of the life to my grandma. So, for the past almost 3 years my grandma had to learn a new normal in her life, without her love who had been by her side for 70+ years. Can you imagine?

So this weekend when we all got the news it was devastating. As my nine year old said, “I just saw her and hugged her.” It was a surprise for us all. As I talked to my kids about their “Old grandma” (that’s what my kids called her and she loved it, she felt it was endearing, not mean at all) I had to make sense to myself and them of what was going on.

I know they kept their fork

We raise Christian kids, we turn to scripture for everything. So my kids know for a fact that their great – grandparents are in heaven. The first thing out of my teenagers’ mouths was that grandma was now with their pop-pop and she was so much happier then she had been here. YES! Were they correct.

You see, I know for a fact that my grandma knew there was something better coming. My grandparents were religious and in fact, supported me in my Christian walk and life. I talked to them often about scriptures, prayers, and heaven. They both knew that there was something better coming, they for sure were keeping their fork!

My grandma had many of us down here to keep her company. My awesome uncle lived with her and did an amazing job taking care of her each and every day. Many of us would stop by just to say hi often. But with all these visits, she was still missing one major part of a long happy life that was no longer with her.

Bear one another’s burdens. Mourn with those that mourn. Comfort those that stand in need of comfort. Stand as witnesses of God.

Mosiah 18:8-9

I feel my grandma knew that we all had each other to lean on down here. Our large family was going to take care of each other here on earth. All of us down here are not ready for the next course, but she had kept her fork long enough and was ready for it, the best one yet, the dessert!

Finding peace

This isn’t our first death to deal with in our family. We’ve lost our fair share. It’s just a hard one, our “queen”, as my uncle called her, has passed on. But I have to wrap my head around it so I can grieve.

So here is what I know: She is with the love of her life, my grandpa

She was looking forward to her next course, heaven. To her, it was a place of peace, comfort and everlasting life.

She is no longer in pain, physical or emotional.

She still loves me and everyone in my crazy big family, and will always love us.

We all mourn those we lose; try to wrap our minds about why; try hard to understand. Many times we get angry because they have left us.

But over the years I have found comfort in knowing that they have something better waiting for them. My mourning is about me, not them. I will miss those who pass, my heart will break because they are no longer here with me. But, I have a support system of family and friends to help me through my grief. And the loved ones who have passed have moved on to something even more beautiful than here.

For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.

Lamentations 3:31 – 33

Mourning together

I will always cry when I lose a loved one, but I will also smile. I will always have the memories and stories to hold close to my heart. We cannot be selfish in our loss but rejoice in knowing they are in such a better place. I have to remember that they may not be physically with me but will always be beside me.

Grief is the last act of love we can give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief there was great love.

anonymous

This year I am working on living my best life. I go to bed each night with no regrets. As I was falling asleep last night, I rejoiced in the memories I have with my grandma. I didn’t stress over not making it over to see her this past week. Instead, I rejoiced in knowing that she knew I loved her. That her last holiday she was surrounded by so many of her loved ones and she was happy. And that earlier that evening she was greeted by my grandfather with the biggest hug; because even though we will miss her here, he was missing her even more up there.

My grandparents

In the next few weeks, my family and I will share our memories, talk about our traditions and share our stories. We will hug each other and wipe one another tears, and our sadness will be wiped away by each other’s support and love and knowing that grandma and grandpa are in heaven holding hands and enjoying their piece of cake together!

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