I’ve taken a bit of a break from this blog. My intentions were not to break but to continually share my life during this time but it didn’t happen that way. This post is candid, honest truth, and I apologize if it isn’t for you but more then likely you can relate to something in this post.
Life in the past year has been a bit much. I survived my daughter’s senior year. I took and paid for all the photos, I went to all the senior banquets and meals, got all the awards, and I survived. For months I feel like we all went through the motions of nonstop life with 3 kids, a firefighter husband and life in general. Each day was a routine with a few things thrown in each day to make it a bit different. I kept telling myself we had to get through it.
I attended the final tour of college with her, I went to scholarship dinners, sent out graduation announcements and prepared for the big weekend – Graduation weekend! Let me tell you, if you have not had a child graduate prepare yourself for graduation weekend!
Graduation Day
I’m going to be honest, I was an emotional wreck the entire school year. I was just not prepared for everything! BUT graduation weekend was the worse. I threw her an amazing graduation party the night before her graduation. We had family and friends come over and wish her congratulations. It was an amazing night! I’m going to be honest though, I was not emotionally prepared! I hung photos of her throughout her life all over my house and reminiscing was hard. My baby was now an adult and getting ready for life without me!
My daughter was valedictorian of her senior class. I could not be more proud of her and all the hard work she put in over the years. Graduation day, I think I went through every emotion possible. I was happy, sad, excited, nervous, proud, and elated. I was quiet and kept to myself, but also shared a smile with everyone I saw and talked to. It’s an emotion that no one can explain, and honestly no one can understand.
Sharing your feelings
I have talked before in other posts about mom and emotions. As a mother we go through so many feelings and emotions, even in a single day. I am one of those people who feel like you should share you with others what you feel, never to feel bad about them. Over the past few weeks I have shared my feelings with a few people, really only those who I know would understand.
No one, even other senior moms, can’t feel the same way I currently am. Each mom goes through their own emotions; the best we can do is listen and be there for them. This summer I have been extremely busy, purposely staying busy to not think about what is happening in a few weeks. Our last trip of the summer came to an end this past Sunday and I dreaded coming home and getting back to reality. I knew it was time to have to face the reality that my baby girl will be leaving the house soon.
When you first become a mom you get advice from everyone about everything. There comes a point when you just let it all go and do your own thing. You learn what is right for you and your child. Well, I’m not going to lie, this is exactly at the point I am in my life and I’m ok with that. Anyone that tells me I am going to get through it; that life will be different but it goes on; it’s going to be ok; stop worrying about it. All those are being ignored. No one walks in my shoes on a daily basis. No one knows how I feel inside. Telling me these things are not helping me!
You do you, not anyone else
To all you moms either packing up your kid to leave the nest for the first time, sending your kid off to their senior year of college, or starting their senior year in high school. Here’s my opinion – you do you! If you want to cry, then cry! If you want to smile and through yourself a dance party, then dance away! You can’t get through life listening to others, you have to find your happy and do you.
I won’t be excited to drop my daughter off at school. I will have a smile on my face because I love her and she is excited, but I will climb in my car and cry my way home. I will sleep in her bed a lot because I can. I will cry on my best friends shoulder because I miss my daily talks with my daughter. And to all my friends who will be going through this with me or after me, I won’t give you a single bit of advice. I will be here to hug you and listen to you. Because we all deal with life in different ways and no way is right or wrong!
