I’ve been a mom for almost 19 years! And through those 19 years I have gone through highs and lows. But most importantly I have learned so much in those years.
In the 19 years I have been a mom I have learned so much about life. I thought years ago college was suppose to be the time we become who we are and learn about ourselves. Oh boy was that wrong!
Becoming a mom throws you into a life that, let’s all be honest, none of us are prepared for! Those all nighters in college did not prepare us for those all nighters with a crying baby. But it’s not just the physical part of being a mom that’s hard, it’s the emotional that none of us are prepared for.
New Babies and Postpartum Depression
When I had my oldest daughter I was like any other young mom, totally unprepared. Emotionally I was not ready to deal with the crying, the sleeplessness, the exhaustion and then my hormones throwing everything around made it even worse! Unfortunately I was one who suffered postpartum depression.
It’s tough as a new mom to stare at your crying baby and feel no emotion, not want to pick up your baby. I made myself, along with the help of my mom, deal with my emotions. I knew deep down that I had to be the mom my baby needed me to be.
Over the years I had two more babies, both times I had overwhelming emotions. Each time adding a new baby to the family brought even more emotions. With every baby I figured out on my own how to deal with each day and the stress and emotions that came with it. It was not the easiest time in my life and was harder then I could ever imagine but I made it through.
Through my 19 years of being a mom it wasn’t just the first year after each one was born that I had to deal with these emotions. Over the years I have had highs and lows, many times so overwhelming. Today, I am here to tell you that it’s ok if you are like me! You too are normal!
Mommy Guilt, not fun.
Mommy guilt! Have you had this? I have, almost everyday! With three very active kids I can’t be everywhere at the same time. I have to choose many times where I am going, whose activity I am supporting and what I have to miss. I’ve unfortunately missed ball games because I had to support one of the other ones somewhere else.
After the postpartum depression finally calms down, you move into the mommy guilt part of life. It comes with it’s own set of tears and break downs. There’s no cure, just tears and feeling deep down that you can’t get rid of and times when it comes back at you later down the road.
Last month I dropped my oldest off at college. I wrote about the emotions and in all honestly I haven’t been up to sharing my story. I never thought that I would have to go through something emotionally tough after I dealt with the postpartum, but I did. Dropping off a child at college was just as emotionally tough to deal with.
Your emotions are yours own them!
We as moms are expected to be tough. We are the backbone of our families. Our kids look up to us. Breakdowns are not okay. Society tells us talking about our feelings is not normal. If we suspect we are depressed, it brings anxiety and embarrassment because society sees it as weak.
I’m here to tell you, it’s part of being a mom. Just like we are each our own person, special and unique, our emotions are too. My emotions are not like my best friends. We don’t share feelings the same way. We both love our kids, go through very similar life experiences and both come out differently on the other side. The best part is though, recognizing that we are both feelings emotions and talking about them together, supporting one another and not making each other feel bad.
We as moms need support systems. Our support needs to let us know it’s okay to feel what we are feeling. No judgments! Society needs to support us, encourage us to talk about our feelings and not judge us for what we are feeling. Whether our emotions are high or low, they are ours and it’s okay to feel them.
Life itself is full of so many highs and lows. Each day is a new start. The emotions that come with those highs and lows are our reactions to those events. Whether we are crying because it’s too much to take for the day, or whether we are laughing on the floor playing with our kids, both emotions are part of who we are. Laying curled up on the couch, not wanting to speak to or see anyone is our body telling us it’s time to recharge. Life has thrown us too much and we need to work it out.
It’s okay to be emotional
Many times it feels like we have more lows then highs. Our body just can’t take it and we end up crying over everything, becoming overwhelmed with life. Lows bring more emotion then highs and we need to recognize that in life. It’s normal to cry, it doesn’t show a sign of weakness, but rather a sign to ourselves that it’s time for a break and time to take care of ourselves.
I have an amazing support system. It may be small but the ones who stick by me are amazing. I don’t feel ashamed talking about my feelings and emotions. They allow me the time to wallow in my lows and celebrate in my highs. My support system doesn’t judge me when I cancel because I don’t want to leave the house. Find yourself a support system that is by your side no matter what!
I have accepted that I cry when I am overwhelmed or my emotions are high. Being the best mom I can be is my top priority. I love my kids, I love making them happy and being their mom. So when those lows happen I cry. And that’s okay! I curl up on the couch, cry when I want to and that’s how I deal with it in my life. It’s okay if you are emotional too. It’s okay to cry! Own your emotions, be a wonderful emotional mom you were meant to be!
