I am a Stay-At-Home-Mom and proud of it! It has taken me a long time to say that loudly and proudly!
14 years ago my husband and I found ourselves making a life changing decision. Our youngest was 4 months old, we had just moved into our house and yet I was unhappy. I had just gone back to work and was so happy to be with my students on a daily basis. But I was also suffering from anxiety and severe postpartum depression. I cried everyday dropping off my girls at the sitters (who was my mom!!!) and I cried throughout the day, and I cried all evening. I was so unhappy.
My husband and I sat down and talked about it all. I have the most amazing husband who loves me unconditionally and believes in me no matter what. I tell my girls all the time they need to make sure they marry a man like their dad, one who treats you like a princess each and every day.
But I sidetrack! We made the decision together that I would not be returning to my teaching job in the fall. We made the decision together to go to one (and a half, my husband has always had a part-time job on his days off from the firehouse) and make sacrifices from our lives.
Over the next 14 years, I found out that being a stay-at-home-mom was not always the easiest job on the planet. It wasn’t all about laying on the couch with your baby/toddler and watching TV. There is so much more to it!
For years when people asked me what I did my answer would be “Oh just a stay at home mom”. It wasn’t until one day someone looked at me and said, just??? At that moment it made me think about all the things I, and other stay-at-home-moms did.
Stay-at-home-mom’s volunteer
So many SAHMs are the ones who run the PTA/PTO. We are always in the schools helping in the classrooms, cafeterias, running the fundraisers and field days. We get the calls from teachers and principals and we answer it, doing whatever is needed!
Many of us volunteer at church’s or non-profits that we hold dear to our hearts. We put in the time between school drop-offs and school pick-ups working on our own time doing what is needed. We lay awake at night going over mental check lists of our to-do lists. All of this done without a paycheck and many of us don’t even share that we do volunteer!
Stay-at-home-mom’s have part – time jobs
Once my kids hit school age and weren’t hanging on me at home all day everyday, I decided to find a part – time job. I did this also for a few years in the beginning because I wasn’t ready to walk away from the classroom altogether. Now I have another part – time job that works with our family schedule and lives and it’s great being able to help financially and gives me more purpose to my day.
I know a number of moms who have also taken on part – time jobs once their kids hit school age. They work between drop-offs and pick-ups, are still able to be there for their kids when they need them and yet still have a purpose in their lives.
Stay-at-home-mom’s run small businesses
Over the past 14 years I have started and successfully run 2 small businesses from my home. Each one brought it good money for our family and allowed me to be home with my kids. I worked on my small businesses while my kids napped or after they went to bed in the evenings. Both businesses were built from the ground up, with my hard work and determination. I ended up selling both of them when they no longer worked with our family and it’s dynamics. But I proud of what I did.
If you ask 50 Stay – at – home – moms, I bet at least half of them will tell you they do something on the side to bring in some money. Whether it’s running an Etsy shop, or a blog, or working part – time from home, they are doing something during naps!
Along with my small businesses, when my son was a baby, I also babysat a couple of teacher kids in my home. It was a great source of income and super easy since I was already home with my little man. Once he began school I stopped so I could do all the school things with him that I did with my older two. And now that they are all in school full – time and getting older, I started watching kids again. It started by helping out a friend, but I found I enjoy having a little one around all the time again. I guess once a mom, always a mom!
We do all this without going crazy
Over the years I have told my husband “I’m losing my mind!” There are only so many times in a day you can turn to a baby and ask it a question and not get an answer! Many of us stay – at – home – moms are in a house day in and day out, especially when we have newborns and toddlers. We don’t venture out too much. So adult interaction is limited.
I find my sanity in taking time for myself each and everyday. Whether it’s shutting my bedroom do in the evening and taking a nice long bath, or sneaking cookies while reading a good book during nap time, or sometimes just a few texts with a good friend, I have to have time doing something for me.
No one is better, we are all amazing moms
There has been a long going debate in society about working moms vs stay at home moms. I have never understood this! We are all amazing woman and we are all given a choice in life about what we want to do. No answer is the correct answer. It’s about your personal choice and how you believe you would give best to you child. Every mom loves their kids, some just know they don’t have the patience to stay home all day. And that’s ok!
I wrote a post a couple months back about being the best mom you can be, Straighten your crown and own your motherhood. It’s your decision, your life and your kids and you are the only one who can make that decision.
Just remember, the next time you run into a stay – at – home – mom, respect them. Ask them what they do all day (nicely, not condescendingly) and I bet you will be surprised! And then give them a hug, because I bet they would love one that didn’t result in a nose wiping on their pants!
Every mom rocks! Be proud of yourself, whether you are a working mom or an amazing stay – at – home – mom!
