In this age with the #metoo movement we hear a lot about the word respect. This word sometimes is thrown around in ways that don’t make sense or to make someones argument valid. I am all for the #metoo movement, being a sexual assault victim myself, I think it’s great we are talking openly about it. But that’s not what this post is about, so let’s set that aside for now.
I am talking about RESPECT. We often tell people they have to earn our respect, that until then we will plain disrespect them. But don’t we earn some sort of respect simply because we are humans?
Over the years I have had to go above and beyond in so many ways to “demand” respect. I look very young for my age, like 10 years younger, and for this reason many people dismiss my thoughts, opinions. I have sat on a number of committees and teams over the years, many times one of the only women among men. I am obviously qualified, educated and prepared to be a member of these teams, but have many times been dismissed during conversations because of my gender and age. Over the years I have learned to be tough skinned, and persistent when I need to be. But why?
I don’t believe respect should be based on gender, there is no reason men should simply disrespect women. Where did this come from? What makes men superior to women? It’s not intelligence because well I know a lot more women smarter then men. It’s not strength because I know some women who could take any man! It’s not maturity because let’s be honest, we all know women are far more mature then men in life. So why are women still struggling for respect in life. We have to fight for job equality, salary equality. We are often looked at as sexual beings and not intelligent humans. Why?
I have 2 girls who I am raising to be strong individual women. They are smart and they are leaders. I talk to them all the time about standing up for themselves. I talk about demanding respect from everyone. And yes, my kids are raised to respect everyone so that’s not an issue. I am also raising a young man who I make sure he knows the importance of respecting everyone in his life. We talk about girls and how they are equal to him, that they can do anything he can do. I make sure he respects them, their thoughts and opinions, and their feelings. And I know that we are not the only parents raising our kids this way, but there are many who aren’t. There are a lot of parents out there who are not teaching or talking to their kids about respect.
And while we are discussing it, let’s not forget about respect for ourselves. Our kids are slowly losing respect for themselves. Is this because of the lack of respect they are receiving from everyone else, including their parents? When young people have no self respect, will they be demanding it from others? How is their self worth, their value to the world? Isn’t this a problem? Isn’t this something we as society should be concerned about? Shouldn’t we be empowering our kids, making sure their self worth, their self respect is setting them up for success in the future?
In this world where anyone can be anything they want, I feel it’s important that we all start respecting each other. I think gender is no longer how we need to define people. Relationships shouldn’t be built where men control women, this is foundation of disrespect. Relationships, whether friendship, coworkers, spouses, should be built on respect and equality. Equality equals respect.
“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university” – Albert Einstein
When I was a high school teacher I had amazing classroom management, very rarely did I ever have issues with students. This past year, I was in the classroom again for a short 6 weeks and I established in that small amount of time yet again amazing classroom management. I’ve been asked over the years, how. My simple answer is respect. A lot of teachers tell me that students have to earn their respect. What? Those students are human beings too! When you give students respect, they in return respect you as their teacher. Your relationship with them is built on a stronger foundation. This isn’t just in the classroom, this is in any leadership role. I hold a lot of leader positions in my life and I am good at them. Beyond being educated about the topic, I make sure that respect is given to each person on my team. I have taught this to my kids too. Both my girls are leaders in groups at school and church, positions they flourish at. I have taught them first and foremost always respect everyone!
Building people up instead of tearing them down will in the end build our society up. Just because we disagree with someone doesn’t mean we need to disrespect them to get our point across. When I turn on the news should we be idolizing the arguments in Washington where they are tearing each other down and disrespecting one another based on political views? No! I want to see stories where people from two different walks in life come together to respect and build one another up, where they are making this world a better place. Let’s start demanding respect everywhere, from everyone.
“Respect is how to treat everyone, not just those you want to impress.” – Richard Branson
Respecting someone isn’t liking them. You don’t go around choosing who gets your respect and who doesn’t. You don’t get to choose who in life is better then you. What’s the criteria for this? How are you better then me? And why do you get to disrespect me, based on what? The minute we are get off our high horses and stop thinking we are better then the next person, the world will be kinder. Education level doesn’t define us (I have many people with less education then me disrespecting me all the time), you gender doesn’t make you better (men you are no better then women!!) Humans are equal and it’s time we are start stressing this and passing it down to our kids. It’s time we start teaching our kids to respect everyone, it’s time our kids, especially our girls to start demanding respect from everyone. Let’s start stressing this, #respectme, our next movement is here.
