If you have ever been a part of a DS company or know someone who is, you have been asked, “What is your why?” You’ve probably seen some posts on social media about people’s why. I have even recently seen a post about a teacher and their why. It’s very popular right now.
Along with this comes dream boards. Pictures of big homes and fancy cars and dream vacations are cut out and glued on a poster board, hang it somewhere you see it all the time. I’m not knocking it, I love the idea, I’ve even used it with my kids. But in reality my dream board is a bit different, I’ll get to that in a bit.
But this whole why doesn’t just apply to our jobs, but our lives. Sit and think about it. Why do you get up in the morning? Why did you quit that awesome job to stay home and wipe noses and watch Mickey Mouse all day? Why are we who we are? It’s an intense question if you really sit down and think about it. If you haven’t read my About me page you will see it’s not about me, it describes who I am. I am me because of why I am me. Think long and hard about that statement.
Your Why when you’re a Mom
As mother’s a lot of our why in this phase in life is about our kids. I quit my teaching job many moons ago because of my kids, I wanted to be with them. It wasn’t a hard decision, at the time it was my why. I own my own business because I want my kids to see me be successful, I want to contribute to my family, that’s my why. I strive hard every day to be a kind, generous, loving person to everyone I come into contact with, my why, because I am a Christian and want to follow Him and spread His message.
If you sit and think hard about your why you will see it’s who we are. Whether it’s because you joined a direct sales company so your kids can attend the private school, or so you can afford to go to Disney every year. This is your why for this one decision in life, but there is a true why for who you are in this time in life with your decision. It all ties together.
My why hasn’t changed over time
I’ve thought long and hard about my why this past school year. My kids are getting older, and there was a time I told myself and my husband that I would go back to teacher, if not full time at least part time. This of course would help financially, I would be using my degree again (even though I use it almost everyday!), and I would be doing something I love! So this past school year I headed back to the classroom as a long term sub at the same high school I worked at many years ago. I truly loved being back in the classroom, I loved being with the students, teaching again, socializing with real adults face to face! But then I got stressed. I was tired when I got home, and many times I had to be the sole parent because my husband was on a 24 hour shift. After weeks of being in the classroom I found myself getting attached to the students again, which yes is a good thing but it hurts in the long run. I missed being with my son in the mornings and getting him off to school. I was rushing in the afternoons to pick up my daughter from school. I found out, after thinking long and hard about it, it wasn’t what I wanted.
My why many years ago, being home with my kids, has become my strongest why yet. I find that every being in me wants to do everything for my kids! My parent’s and my husband sometimes laugh at this, I never really wanted to be a parent. I love kids, yes, but the day in and day out responsibility, the endless sacrificing for them, it wasn’t who I wanted to be. I wanted to travel, I wanted to be selfish, I wanted to be irresponsible at times (really not sure about this one, I’m a goody goody!). But then God had different plans for me. My oldest came into my life unexpectedly, I put my trust in God then that He knew what he was doing. It wasn’t easy, I wasn’t ready, I went kicking and screaming at times, but I accepted being a parent. From that moment I changed. Everything, every decision, every action was for my kids.
If your why doesn’t make you cry…It’s not your why. – Coach Hite
Now is my why better then yours? Nope! And your why won’t be better then your neighbors. So what’s so important about our whys? Well because it’s what moves us. It’s what we are passionate about. It’s what gets us up in the morning, what we look forward to on the weekends. It’s what molds us to be better, it’s what helps us make every decision in life. Can you have more then one why? Sure can! I talk a lot about my kids, but my other why is God. He is first and for most in our lives. As Christians that’s who we are. I could write a whole other post on this (which I’m sure you will see in the future!).
Why it’s important to have a Why
When you have a why for your life it helps you define your purpose. We all have a purpose in life. There is a reason you are here. Whether your purpose is to raise the best kids you can or work so you can donate money to your favorite nonprofit, your why gives you the purpose.
Finding your way, your purpose in life also helps you live with integrity. Integrity gives you a life you are proud of. We each have something unique and special to contribute to this world, your why gets you there. My kids are my unique and special contributions to this world. Ones that I am proud of!
So I challenge you today, sit down and think about your why. Ask yourself if your why is making you happy. If not, maybe it’s time to change your why! Maybe it’s time to find that other job, take that awesome vacation, have another baby, quit your job and stay home, go for the promotion. Whatever it is in your life, this stage this moment in life, that will make you happy! Find what will have you jumping out of the bed in the morning (maybe not jumping, cause us non-morning people could really never jump out of bed!) but you get the idea. And remember your why can never be too small or too large! I’d love to hear what your why is, share with me, I look forward to reading them.
